Long Lost Review: Can’t Say it Went to Plan by Gabrielle Tozer

Long Lost Reviews is a monthly meme created by Ally over at Ally’s Appraisals which is posted on the second Thursday of every month. The aim is to start tackling your review backlog. Whether it’s an in-depth analysis of how it affected your life, one sentence stating that you only remember the ending, or that you have no recollection of reading the book at all. 

Published: 14 September 2021Goodreads badge
Publisher:
HarperCollins
Pages: 384
Format: Paperback
Genre: Contemporary Young Adult
★   ★   ★  – 3 Stars

School’s out.

Forget study, exams and mapping out the future.

For the next seven days, the only homework is partying with friends, making new ones and living in the moment.

 There are no parents or curfews – and no rules. 

Zoe, Samira and Dahlia are strangers, but they have something in common: their plans for a dream holiday after their final year of school are flipped upside-down before they even arrive at the beach.

From hooking up and heartache, to growing apart, testing friendships and falling in love, anything can go down this week. 

Interestingly I remember reading this book which is often rare for a LLR, but I can’t actually think of anything to say about it. I have tried twice before to read a Tozer book, I didn’t like the other two, but I was willing to give this one a shot. Unfortunately it befell the same fate. I felt it was a little too long, or at least too drawn out, after a while it started to fade out and I became disinterested.

The characters were fine, I never became attached to them and there were a lot to keep track of. There were three different groups with numerous storylines between them so you had to pay attention. I did enjoy when the different groups would cross paths and when they eventually joined up. There is decent character development for a few of the characters but it took a long time. I didn’t expect a quick change, but with the story feeling drawn out the moments in between anything happening felt eternal.

There’s characters to like and characters to dislike, and it was good to see our main players come to their senses and not deal with the idiots they come across. Being a schoolies week of course there had to be the toolies, but Tozer manages them really well and I liked her approach to their inclusion. Clear judgement of a guy who is too old to still be hanging around.

There is still one more Tozer book, I have it on my shelf but deciding when to finally read it will be hard. Do I dive in and get it over with? Wait a few more years to give it a gap between the last one, or do I never even try? These are the questions. It might be that Tozer isn’t the author for me and I should give up.

The Fat Girl by Marilyn Sachs

Published: 1 January 1984 (print)/20 April 2021 (audio) Goodreads badge
Publisher:
Flux/Everand Publications
Pages: 226/4 hrs and 15 mins
Narrator: Trever Goble
Format: Audiobook
Genre: Young Adult
★   ★   ★ – 3 Stars

Jeff Lyons can’t stand Ellen de Luca, the fat girl in his ceramics class. She’s huge, clumsy, can’t throw a pot to save her life, and stares at Jeff all the time. But he’s a “nice guy” and feels terrible when Ellen overhears his hurtful remarks about her. The “crumbs of kindness” he tosses her way soon turn into advice on weight loss, college, clothes, hair . . . and, to everyone’s surprise, good-looking Jeff actually dumps his pretty girlfriend to be with the fat girl Re-creating Ellen is a labor of love, Jeff thinks. But as her pounds melt away, Jeff resents the happy, independent young woman he has unleashed. Where is the gratitude for all he’s done for her? With this darkly ironic take on the classic Pygmalion tale, Marilyn Sachs offers young readers a candid portrayal of what happens when the intoxicating thrill of control is confused with love.

I know we’re meant to hate Jeff.

I know we are meant to hate Jeff.

I have to keep reminding myself we are meant to hate Jeff.

I don’t know why I chose to read this book. Reverse Pygmalion grabbed my attention. Being a short read grabbed my attention. I was curious. But my god, the willpower it takes to push through the hatred is incredible. Kudos to Sachs for writing someone I wanted to punch more than Holden Caulfield.

Jeff is shallow, he is openly shallow. He is unashamedly shallow. I liked seeing Jeff get called out, his mother thinks he’s selfish, he is petulant and a baby. It’s great when he is called out. But the rest is rough.

Jeff is the kind of guy who would be murdered and there’d be no one to miss him.

Sachs goes hard. Jeff is almost hateful in his treatment towards Ellen (or as he frequently refers to her ‘the fat girl’). He is openly hostile and detests her mere existence, even once saying he was turning her “into a human being.”

It is a short read but it is a fascinating study into people like Jeff. People who feel they are superior to those around them and anyone beneath them needs punishing. That when they have their egos bruised even a tiny bit they retaliate, or worse, when they feel they aren’t being appreciated enough, or praised enough for doing the bare minimum, retaliate.

Ellen is the stereotypical overweight person. She eats too much, she’s clumsy, she bumps into things and Sachs really digs it in deep by mentioning Jeff thinks she smells. Everyone other than Ellen is referred to as ‘normal’, Jeff thinks he is a ‘nice guy’ and blames Ellen for him being mean and not making him a good person. It’s incredible.

We see a lot from Ellen’s side, we see her home life and explore her enjoyment of hobbies but we also see her vulnerabilities. Jeff’s mission is to improve Ellen, and she wants his help, she doesn’t want to be the way she is, but she lets Jeff control her. Even when he’s being nice he’s being horrible. His ego grows and he makes Ellen’s achievements about himself.

You see Jeff’s shift at the halfway point. If it took guilt and fear to change him then that’s a start. The great thing is Sachs doesn’t let him off that easy.

It is a fantastic book about making you aware of people like Jeff. If you come across someone like Jeff, run for your life.

Weirdly I didn’t hate the book, but with Jeff behind the wheel I didn’t like reading it. But Sachs points out people’s flaws well, despite the fast pace and the minimal detail and depth. You get a sense of who these characters are and even though the story rushes through days and events, you can see the characters in their elements succinctly.

We have no idea what is happening with other characters further than Jeff’s observations because he is so up himself.

¾ of the way in you see Ellen’s confidence grow, and my own desire for Ellen to drop kick him increased. I needed Jeff to be dealt with. The only shining light in his whole irredeemable life is she scares him into being a decent human being.

The blurb mentions the confusion of control vs love, and Jeff 100% loves being in control, and controlling Ellen. He patronises her, controls how she looks and acts. He dismisses her opinions and thoughts, he is belittling and tells her what she thinks. He ignores her protests, she begs him not to make her do things but he convinces her to do them.

The worst part is Jeff isn’t an idiot, he knows when he mistreats people, but he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. It’s interesting to see the similarities between Jeff and his family: emotionally manipulative who get their kicks from degrading others.

The good news is you still get to hate Jeff by the end. I was worried, but no. Ellen and another character Norma escape, and we still get to hate Jeff, doomed forever with his mother and their desires to control other people to becoming the people they think they should be.

I was initially going to give this book 1.5 stars, the .5 because Ellen and Norma were the only sensible people in there. But then I remembered you can’t mark a book down because you dislike a character who is designed to be unlikable. So I had another think through and while I disliked Jeff, Sachs tells him in a way we’re supposed to dislike him, supposed to see he is wrong. Not pity him, certainly not. But we see his flaws, his mother’s flaws, see them trapped by their own making. Be grateful to those who escape it. I had to look at the other characters, not through Jeff’s eyes but through their actions.

Writing wise it’s quick, it’s basic detail, jumping quickly through days, but that isn’t a deal breaker. I’m happy with the three. I liked the story it told, but it a different liking the story than anything I have ever read. I hated the story but I liked what happens. I’m going to be confused about this one for a while.

You can purchase The Fat Girl via the following

QBD | Blackwell’s

 Amazon | Amazon Aust | Audible

Long Lost Review: Act Cool by Tobly McSmith

Long Lost Reviews is a monthly meme created by Ally over at Ally’s Appraisals which is posted on the second Thursday of every month. The aim is to start tackling your review backlog. Whether it’s an in-depth analysis of how it affected your life, one sentence stating that you only remember the ending, or that you have no recollection of reading the book at all. 

Published: 7 September 2021 (print)/7 September 2021 (audio)
Publisher:
Quill Tree Books/HarperCollins Publishers
Pages: 352/9 hrs and 36 mins
Narrator: Shaan Dasani
Format: Audiobook
Genre: Young Adult
★   ★   ★ – 3 Stars

A trans teen walks the fine line between doing whatever it takes for his acting dream and staying true to himself in this moving, thought-provoking YA novel from the acclaimed author of Stay Gold.

Aspiring actor August Greene just landed a coveted spot at the prestigious School of Performing Arts in New York. There’s only one problem: His conservative parents won’t accept that he’s transgender. And to stay with his aunt in the city, August must promise them he won’t transition.

August is convinced he can play the part his parents want while acting cool and confident in the company of his talented new friends.

But who is August when the lights go down? And where will he turn when the roles start hitting a little too close to home?

It is hard to like August at the start. His show off style and desire to stand out and be noticed is grating but as you get to know him you see where he’s coming from and why he’s chosen to put on these various personas. August’s different personas is a clear way he adapts who he is for the people he is around. It’s also a great way to show even though August thinks he knows who he is, he still hasn’t quite figured it out.

He has great character growth and the different characters he interacts with help bring out different sides of him, as well as shape his character to the reader. We see more of him around different people and see his active decisions in his behaviour, coupled with the knowledge we already have of his past.

Other characters are great, well rounded, and real. Mr Daniels is a tough teacher who wants to make sure August is there for the right reasons, while his aunt is supportive in a way his other family isn’t. The plot is slow, it takes time getting going but it does eventually build to a pivotal moment. The slow reveal about different experiences August has had help you understand him as you go along, and it shifts how you feel towards him too. His goal to reinvent himself balances against his need to belong and his need for security and friendship which McSmith manages well.

This is a great found family novel, and one I didn’t mind being set in a school setting. The unique location of the acting school was a fresh focus of American YA and it is a great exploration of different aspects of hobbies and passions. Dasani does a good job as narrator, August’s voice comes through and it’s easy to get immersed in the story.

It has great representation but it wasn’t an amazing book. I liked it, it had its moments, and it is sure to resonate with someone or expose them to a different kind of story which is all you can hope in a book. There’s a few content warnings like transphobia, dead naming, as well as the prospect of conversion therapy but it’s important to include as it paints a realistic picture of the real world situations people like August go through and is a great mirror up to some people and their opinions.

You can purchase Act Cool via the following

QBD | BooktopiaDymocks

WorderyAngus and Robinson | Blackwell’s

 Fishpond | Amazon | Amazon Aust | Audible

Long Lost Review: Scarlet (#2) by Marissa Meyer

Long Lost Reviews is a monthly meme created by Ally over at Ally’s Appraisals which is posted on the second Thursday of every month. The aim is to start tackling your review backlog. Whether it’s an in-depth analysis of how it affected your life, one sentence stating that you only remember the ending, or that you have no recollection of reading the book at all. 

Published: 13 February 2013Goodreads badge
Publisher:
Feiwel & Friends
Pages: 454
Format: Paperback
Genre: Young Adult Sci-Fi/Fantasy
★   ★  ★  ★ – 4 Stars

Cinder, the cyborg mechanic, returns in the second thrilling installment of the bestselling Lunar Chronicles. She’s trying to break out of prison—even though if she succeeds, she’ll be the Commonwealth’s most wanted fugitive.

Halfway around the world, Scarlet Benoit’s grandmother is missing. When Scarlet encounters Wolf, a street fighter who may have information as to her grandmother’s whereabouts, she is loath to trust this stranger, but is inexplicably drawn to him, and he to her. As Scarlet and Wolf unravel one mystery, they encounter another when they meet Cinder. Now, all of them must stay one step ahead of the vicious Lunar Queen Levana, who will do anything for the handsome Prince Kai to become her husband, her king, her prisoner. 

This poor series has been sitting unreviewed properly for years because I wanted to post reviews in order and this one never wanted to be written. I am now trying to drag up my memory of this book to do a quick one to get it done. It’s definitely an ongoing theme because it took me forever to get around to reading it in the first place after I read Cinder but it didn’t disappoint.

I enjoyed how we are still in the world of Cinder while also branching out and exploring other characters. It was an interesting approach to have a sequel that’s still so connected with the first book characters while also introducing new people and a whole new story. Being set in the same world I thought there’d be references, but the changing perspectives captures a great look at various corners of the world and Meyer brings them together remarkably well.

The Cinder side gives a great plotline as we see her become a fugitive; and after the events in book one it’s great to see her story continue. I enjoyed the slow reveal and the pacing as everything is revealed. Scarlet’s story is also full of amazing twists and the way Meyer lays hints and clues pulls you along. Scarlet is a great character, she is fiery and passionate and I enjoyed seeing her with Wolf and their dynamic together. I loved how Cinder’s story and Scarlet’s come together, it is skilful storytelling, and I loved how they are each the main character of their own story, they have their own stories right up until their lives intertwine.

I love how Meyer has connected these fairytales in new and brilliant ways. The science fiction and fantasy come together so well and it’s incredible to see her imagination work. It is a fascinating story and one that reveals more about each of the characters old and new, as well as shows readers more about the world’s history and the challenges they face.

As Happy As Here by Jane Godwin

Published: 23 July 2019Goodreads badge
Publisher:
Hachette Australia
Pages: 273
Format: Paperback
Genre: Young Adult
★   ★   ★   ★   ★ – 5 Stars

A beautiful coming-of-age story about three teenage girls from very different backgrounds who find themselves sharing a hospital ward, for fans of Kate DiCamillo and Fiona Wood

Three teenage girls from very different backgrounds find themselves sharing a hospital ward. When they witness a crime in the park below their window, they bond over trying to solve the crime and each one undergoes a profound change.

A beautiful coming-of-age story about identity, expectation, class, justice, society, fairness, and, above all, kindness.

I did not expect to still be thinking about this book weeks after I had finished it but it will not leave my mind. It isn’t even so much the story, but the characters Godwin has created are so impactful it’s hard not to remember them.

Godwin captures the three different personalities really well. Evie, Lucy, and Jemma overlap in some ways but at the same time their unique selves come through. Lucy is mature, having a lifetime of experience already at a young age, Evie is a young girl on the cusp of growing up and the world moving too fast for her, wanting to stay young but also foolishly lamenting not being older. Jemma is a chaotic force who is acting grown up but at the same time is even younger and more vulnerable than the others. Her strength is to bewilder and bullheadedly push on not worrying about what comes before.

The Jemma she puts on to others is very different to the one you can see is the truth. It’s a loose comparison but she gave me Pippi Longstockings vibes: the neglected kid making up stories and being proud of how unbalanced her life was.

I understood Evie’s frustrations so well. I have been around people like Jemma before and it’s hard to fight against their confidence and their chaotic nature. Their lies and self-assuredness make it hard when you know things aren’t true or are unjust. Trying to find the voice or the energy to do the right thing, or to stop people believing the wrong things about you is hard.

You know Jemma is a lonely little girl, you know she is covering up hurt and trying to be flippant about it, but my god it makes it hard to feel sorry for her. You find yourself hating this poor twelve year old and the irritation and wanting to shake sense into her and tell her to stop acting like that is strong.

I enjoyed the adults in this story as well as the three girls. Their roles are so different, and yet they are also the same. With minimal words Godwin gives full depth to the adults in the girls’ lives. We know the kind of people Evie’s parents are, who Lucy’s dad is, and who the adults in Jemma’s life are. The comparison and the different approaches was a great contrast and even through Evie’s eyes it is a great example of how much kids see.

This is a powerful story about the lives different people have, especially young teens. Having Evie reflect on the differences without being judgemental is incredibly important. Her empathy is wonderful but Godwin never makes her perfect. She is young, learning, timid but wants to do what’s right. She is a wonderful character and a great narrator. That is where Godwin’s story is fantastic. You can have these feelings based on surface events but as the book progresses and we see more of the bond the three girls have, how their lives interact, how each conflict changes them, your own perspective changes with theirs.

For the most part it is a story about unlikely friends and a strange mystery outside the window like Rear Window for the modern age, but then in the final chapters it changes so suddenly it really shocks you. I was not expecting to be hit in the emotional face by the last part of this book but it works so well.

This book does break your heart a little. Even when you have theories and know snippets of information, confirmation and context is still a punch to the heart. Godwin does a great job sprinkling in the heartache.  I had to remind myself that this was not a true story, but even then it is so reminiscent of the real lives kids have out there it’s hard not to think how true these scenarios could be.

I honestly could talk about these characters forever. Godwin has cemented them in my heart and I will be grateful they are not real but at the same time mourn for them for always.

You can purchase As Happy As Here via the following

QBD | Booktopia

DymocksAngus and Robinson

 Fishpond | Amazon | Amazon Aust

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