If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come by Jen St Jude

Published: 9 May 2023 (print)/11 May 2023 (audio) Goodreads badge
Publisher:
Penguin Books/Penguin
Pages: 416/9 hrs and 49 mins
Narrator: Georgie Sadler
Format: Audiobook
Genre: Young Adult
★   ★   ★ – 3 Stars

We Are Okay meets They Both Die at the End in this YA debut about queer first love and mental health at the end of the world-and the importance of saving yourself, no matter what tomorrow may hold.

Avery Byrne has secrets. She’s queer; she’s in love with her best friend, Cass; and she’s suffering from undiagnosed clinical depression. But on the morning Avery plans to jump into the river near her college campus, the world discovers there are only nine days left to live: an asteroid is headed for Earth, and no one can stop it.

Trying to spare her family and Cass additional pain, Avery does her best to make it through just nine more days. As time runs out and secrets slowly come to light, Avery would do anything to save the ones she loves. But most importantly, she learns to save herself. Speak her truth. Seek the support she needs. Find hope again in the tomorrows she has left.

I looked up how long we’d get before we could know about an asteroid big as or bigger than the dinosaur one and while some answers say years there is also a chance it is a few days so the nine day estimate isn’t far off. As the blurb indicates it is reminiscent of They Both Die at the End but en masse and without the infrastructure or safety nets to help people.

We know it’s happening outside the realm of Avery’s bubble but it is her story we’re hearing so we can only know the reaction around her experience. There could certainly be areas where a lot of different things are happening and I understand that St Jude can’t include everything but while a few bad things happen, it is relatively peaceful, a lot more internal conflict than external. Also the impact is in the United States so who knows what the rest of the world is doing, though I’d’ve loved it if St Jude had thrown in a radio broadcast or something to check in on the rest of the planet.

There is a handy warning at the start of the book about the content which is the best approach, people can’t mark a book down for having something in there they don’t like if they are warned ahead of time and continued anyway.

With suicide intent and the end of the earth looming the story is relatively light. There are strange freedoms and priorities given that the world is ending but I understand it in a way from Avery’s journey of herself and what she needs to do. It doesn’t always make sense, especially around Cass and her family versus her life at university, but I guess if you see it from Avery’s perspective it is about her and knowing who she is and that’s what she has to do.

I think this is a book that needs to be viewed from one angle and not another. The realities of the world ending and the possibly unrealistic way St Jude portrays everyone’s actions shouldn’t take away from the way the story tries to explore depression, identity, and love.

I liked the jump through time as we went from years ago to the final day. It helped break the story up and helped give good character background without needing it through present day dialogue or exposition.

A lot of the secondary characters felt flat and you forget about them unless they are on the page Sadler does a good job narrating and each character is identifiable so that was a bonus.

Overall it was a good book. It isn’t perfect but it covered interesting themes about family trauma, religion, identity, and love. Plus you get the think about what you’d do if the world was ending.

You can purchase If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come via the following

QBDDymocks | Booktopia

WorderyBlackwell’s | Angus & Robertson

Fishpond | Amazon | Amazon Aust | Audible

One of Us is Back (#3) by Karen M. McManus

Long Lost Reviews is a monthly meme created by Ally over at Ally’s Appraisals which is posted on the second Thursday of every month. The aim is to start tackling your review backlog. Whether it’s an in-depth analysis of how it affected your life, one sentence stating that you only remember the ending, or that you have no recollection of reading the book at all. 

Published: 27 July 2023 (print)/27 July 2023 (audio) Goodreads badge
Publisher:
Penguin/Penguin
Pages: 368/10 hrs and 12 mins
Narrator: Shannon McManus, Holly Linneman, Robbie Daymond, Jeff Ebner
Format: Audiobook
Genre: Young Adult Mystery/Thriller
★   ★   ★   ★ – 4 Stars

At first the mysterious billboard seems like a bad joke: Time for a new game, Bayview. But when a member of the crew disappears, it’s clear this ‘game’ just got serious – and no-one understands the rules.

Ever since Simon died in detention, life hasn’t been easy for the Bayview Crew. First the Bayview Four had to prove they weren’t killers. Then a new generation had to outwit a vengeful copycat. Now, it’s beginning again.

The thing is, Simon was right about secrets-they all come out, eventually. And Bayview has a lot it’s still hiding.

Everyone’s a target. And now that someone unexpected has returned to Bayview, things are starting to get deadly.

Simon was right about secrets – they all come out in the end. 

This I’m resigning into a Long Lost Review because my notes are few, my memory of it is non-existent, and even the blurb is giving me nothing. I have a few notes but don’t remember much from this book. Even reading plot summaries nothing is sticking. Given my notes are about it being a bit confusing probably has something to do with it.

As the story starts there is a pause to recap previous books as characters are introduced. It’s seamless enough, but it’s a lot to recap given the complexity of previous books which makes it a little wordy and awkward all the same.

The cast has grown which is acknowledged, there are a lot of people to keep track of, and to mix the old ones in with the new and bring new readers up to speed and refresh memories is a lot. With the return of previous characters you can see growth, how they haven’t changed, how they are beyond high school even though it hasn’t been that long.

I have given it four stars so I must have enjoyed it, but maybe also I enjoyed McManus’ writing style, enjoyed returning to these characters, and maybe the plot was good and interesting at the time but isn’t one that sticks.

You can purchase One of Us is Back via the following

QBDDymocks | Booktopia

WorderyBlackwell’s | Angus & Robertson

Fishpond | Amazon | Amazon Aust | Audible

The Way I Am Now (#2) by Amber Smith

Published: 7 November 2023 (print)/7 November 2023 (audio) Goodreads badge
Publisher:
Margaret K. McElderry Books/Spotify Audio
Pages: 229/10 hrs and 37 mins
Narrator: Jordan Fisher and Rebekkah Ross
Format: Audiobook
Genre: Contemporary Young Adult
★   ★   ★ – 3 Stars

Eden and Josh never had a fair shot at a healthy relationship. When they dated in high school, they each had their own problems getting in the way of the deep connection they felt toward one another. Unbeknownst to Josh, Eden was carrying the burden of a devastating sexual assault, while Josh was dealing with his own private struggle of having an alcoholic father.

Months after Eden and two other girls publicly accuse their rapist, Eden is starting college while her case goes to trial. Now when she and Josh reconnect, it seems like it might finally be in the right place at the right time for them to make it work. But is their love strong enough to withstand the challenges and chaos of college and the crushing realities of a trial that will determine whether Eden gets the justice she deserves?

It took me a year to read this after having read the first book in the duology. While I had conflicting feelings over the first story, having read the second made me remember the key moments of the first book and fade away what I found to be boring. I think the driving part of this was the Eden/Josh relationship. That was the better part of the first book and while I immensely respect the story Smith told the first time around, I liked this one better.

There really was something about Smith’s writing in the first book that kept me thinking about trying the sequel. I would see it there and keep it on my saved list to get to when I had a chance around other books I wanted to read. I was connected to Eden and Josh and if that was the pull of the sequel then that’s what got me to finally pick it up.

I really like the Eden/Josh relationship. They are good together, work through their issues together, and have a good communication style. It’s interesting how fond I feel for these characters, especially when I gave book one 2.5 stars, but the dynamic and honesty between the pair, the emotional connection, really grabs you. Maybe not intensely or dramatically, but it hooks on and doesn’t let go.

The story itself is good. We’ve been with Eden for three years and now she is at university and trying again with Josh, the right way round this time, dates and all. The characters we’ve met in book one are back. He mother is different, her father is worse, and her brother is more supportive and in her corner which I loved. The friends she has have also had their own experiences which change them and mixing all of these together brings its own challenges.

The story is nowhere near as dark or intense as the first, more reflective, less emotional (but not emotionless), and full of hope. There is intrigue and a compelling story right away so it keeps you engaged. You are enamoured by these people and want to see where their story goes. Having the history of book one behind you Smith doesn’t need to give us a huge reintroduction into any of these people because we know them already, the only difference is seeing how they’ve evolved.

The storyline from book one continues and we see the consequences from Eden’s action of outing her rapist which was great. Her bravery and the challenges she faced are played out and it was good to see the “after” moment of the big reveals and challenges that characters often make.

Aside from the court case in the background, this is a very character driven story as Josh and Eden find their place and work out their lives together. Their affection for one another never feels saccharine or unrealistic, it’s solid, especially given the risk and the dangers they started out with.

I was sceptical going in, but Smith does a great job finishing the story that began so dark and traumatic, moving it into a lighter more hopeful space. There is still the ongoing consequences of the first book which was a realism I appreciated. There are no perfect fixes, Eden isn’t magically healed, Josh isn’t always perfect, and the stresses of life and emotional tolls cause conflict.

I’m curious as to whether there will be a third. I don’t think it needs it, I think Smith finishes the story in a perfect place that is open and up to the reader. Especially given how it ends I think picking a solid conclusion would be risky. But if a third one came along I would no doubt be intrigued enough to see where it went.

You can purchase The Way I am Now via the following

QBDDymocks | Booktopia

WorderyBlackwell’s | Angus & Robertson

Fishpond | Amazon | Amazon Aust | Audible

Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales

Published: 3 March 2020 (print)/7 January 2021 (audio) Goodreads badge
Publisher:
Wednesday Books/Macmillan Young Listeners
Pages: 281/7 hrs and 48 mins
Narrator: Mark Sanderlin
Format: Audiobook
Genre: Young Adult Romance
★   ★   ★   ★ – 4 Stars

Will Tavares is the dream summer fling – he’s fun, affectionate, kind – but just when Ollie thinks he’s found his happily ever after, summer vacation ends and Will stops texting Ollie back. Now Ollie is one prince short of his fairy-tale ending, and to complicate the fairy tale further, a family emergency sees Ollie uprooted and enrolled at a new school across the country. Which he minds a little less when he realizes it’s the same school Will goes to…except Ollie finds that the sweet, comfortably queer guy he knew from summer isn’t the same one attending Collinswood High. This Will is a class clown, closeted – and, to be honest, a bit of a jerk.

Ollie has no intention of pining after a guy who clearly isn’t ready for a relationship, especially since this new, bro-y jock version of Will seems to go from hot to cold every other week. But then Will starts “coincidentally” popping up in every area of Ollie’s life, from music class to the lunch table, and Ollie finds his resolve weakening.

The last time he gave Will his heart, Will handed it back to him trampled and battered. Ollie would have to be an idiot to trust him with it again.

Right? Right.

Once again Sophie Gonzales has written a book about a US high school without making me so consciously in-your-face aware we are in a USA high school. I love this. I love I can enjoy overseas books without having to endure the way the school is usually written.

It is promoted as Clueless x Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, which I can see. But there is a little bit of Grease in there too. The secret romance, the unexpected return of a summer fling. It’s even got great character development.

There is a good development from casual homophobic jokes to friendly support. There’s a healthy balance of standing up for friends, knowing when to keep quiet and when not too. Gonzales has made this a book about the characters and their lives and not about being in school. It’s fabulous.

Gonzales explores the issue of terminal illness and grief in a way that is always there but doesn’t take over the story. It’s the reason for everything and yet the story still moves on without there needing to be detailed explanations and descriptions of hospitals. Having Ollie be the babysitter and still a teenager means he is there to help and mind the kids while the adults deal with the serious side of things. It keeps the intensity and the emotional impact whilst not taking away from the other story.

Even the “epic summer” that is told through various flashbacks is about the connection between Will and Ollie. I think the usual blatant references to the fact someone is in high school, not sure what to do with their life, how summer break is a major event – all of that which annoys me normally in American books is subdued while still being key factors in the plot. Having it not blatantly pointed out and constantly referenced means you can focus on the story. We understand these are important times, it doesn’t need to be drilled into the reader and Gonzales does a spectacular job exploring the same themes without doing that.

The development of Will and Ollie as a pair while Will is trying to be a different person at school and Ollie coming to terms with his new situation and surprise secrets was good. Realistic progression of feelings, realistic behaviour around friends and their own issues. You could feel them planning their lives, still having teen drama, and living their high school experience without it feeling like it was shoved in your face. I think I need Gonzales to write all future USA YA books set in a high school please.

You can purchase Only Mostly Devastated via the following

QBDDymocks | Booktopia

WorderyBlackwell’s | Angus & Robertson

Fishpond | Amazon | Amazon Aust | Audible

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Spin With Me by Ami Polonsky

Published: 16 February 2021 (print)/16 Feb 2021 (audio) Goodreads badge
Publisher:
Farrar, Straus and Giroux (Byr)/Tantor Audio
Pages: 224/5 hrs and 6 mins
Narrator: Amanda Dolan
Format: Audiobook
Genre: Young Adult
★   ★   ★ – 3 Stars

In this elegant dual narrative, Essie is a thirteen-year-old girl feeling glum about starting a new school after her professor dad takes a temporary teaching position in a different town. She has 110 days here and can’t wait for them to end. Then she meets Ollie: delicate, blue eyes, short hair, easy smile. At first, Essie thinks she has a typical crush on a beautiful boy. But as her crush blossoms, she soon realizes that Ollie is not a boy or a girl, but gender non-binary.

Meanwhile, Ollie is experiencing a crush of their own . . . on Essie. As Ollie struggles to balance their passion for queer advocacy with their other interests, they slowly find themselves falling for a girl whose stay is about to come to an end. Can the two unwind their merry-go-round of feelings before it’s too late?

As much as I love the range YA offers, it’s important to remember this ranges characters from 13 to 17 or 18 at times. This is one of those times a character is 13 and I think that’s important in how you view the story. There’s nothing bad, but you can definitely attribute the naivety and the newness of puberty and feelings being worked out in a clumsy way that feels right for a thirteen year old. Polonsky does a great job of pointing out that it is a weird thing Essie does and in a gentle way pulls her up on how she treats Ollie and their identity. On the flip side, the circumstances of being more mature than a parent would think but also needing the guidance one can give is explored wonderfully.

I like that it isn’t normalised to start asking private questions, even if it is innocent curiosity and trying to understand. Sometimes you have to leave it alone. But it’s also great as Essie suddenly realising she might have to look at her own identity, while still lamenting why anyone needs a label and what that means.

It is a fast read, one clearly directed but it’s a good exploration of family, friends old and new, growing up and new beginnings. It’s not quite an introduction to gender –  Polonsky doesn’t go that deep. But it is a personal reflection about what it means when these feelings come up and how to navigate them. As one character says the kids are far more ok with it than the adults so it isn’t a big deal, but it still is something that requires understanding and as a gentle introduction this is a good start.

I loved that this story makes a point to constantly remove itself from being a book About Gender. As Ollie gets to narrate we see the struggle to be themselves instead of their sole identity being their identity. There’s more to being a person than their gender and it’s a fight Ollie has and the balance to be seen as other than the non-binary kid is real.

The story is told from 110 days down to the final days from Essie’s perspective then it switches to the same 110 day countdown from Ollie’s. I knew it was a duel narrative but I thought it was alternating simultaneous, but I didn’t mind, especially cause we get a speed run of Ollie’s since their side is less detailed than Essie’s while still getting their story in their own words.

This is a great book to bridge the gap between primary school read and early high school. It’s about starting a new school, finding friends, growing up, and it still reads like a YA novel. There’s gripes with parents, trying to grow up and be cool but still dealing with being children and discovering their footing in a changing world.

You can purchase Spin With Me via the following

QBDDymocks | Booktopia

 Blackwell’s | Angus & Robertson

Fishpond | Amazon | Amazon Aust

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