Published: 16 April 2024 (print)/16 April 2024 (audio) 
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends/Books on Tape
Pages: 368/9 hrs and 28 mins
Narrator: Nicky Enders, Angel Pean, Natalie Naudus, Tara Sands, Ann Zhao, Daisy Guevara, Elaine Wang, Rebecca Wang
Format: Audiobook
Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
★ ★ ★ ★ – 4 Stars
When Joanna “Jo” Ephron (also a first-year aroace college student) created their “Sincerely Wanda” account, it wasn’t at all meant to take off or be taken seriously—not like Wendy’s. But now they might have a rivalry of sorts with Wendy’s account? Oops. As if Jo’s not busy enough having existential crises over gender identity, whether she’ll ever truly be loved, and the possibility of her few friends finding The One then forgetting her!
While tensions are rising online, Sophie and Jo grow closer in real life, especially once they realise their shared aroace identity and start a campus organization for other a-spec students. Will their friendship survive if they learn just who’s behind the Wendy and Wanda accounts?
I am so glad I enjoyed this book more than I thought I would. I have been trying to diversify my diverse reads and this is such a rare identity in books I needed to read it and it turned into an amazing story! There are many asexual book lists (aromantic even rarer) and so often it’s vague, implied, a throwaway comment that people can hang their hopes on, but Zhao holds nothing back and makes it clear these girls are aroace and are proud of it.
Jo/Wanda is definitely the antagonist in starting the feud between the pair. She takes it as a joke then intentionally antagonises Sophie/Wendy. Publicly too which is poor form. But Zhao balances on the line because I was waiting for it to go too far and become the main conflict but Jo stops right before it becomes too hurtful. This self-awareness of intent with Jo is great too because she always tries to maintain the jest in her actions so having her change would be a bigger shift than a light hearted taunt. It is always light hearted to their credit, though I was waiting for someone to log into the wrong account and out themselves and mess it up. For all the different ways this could have played out I really enjoyed how Zhao works this storyline. There’s tension and suspense, while remaining heartfelt, honest, and wholesome.
I love having a book where there are set feelings/identity. The focus is then on a different story and not only on exploring character feelings. Not that having books only about that are bad, I have loved more than my fair share, but sometimes it is nice to have a plot with a diverse character and not have the diverse character be the plot. The aroace representation in books is so low (finding any openly or definitive asexual or aromantic rep in books is hard) and I am glad this one shines brightly with an amazing story and amazing set of characters.
I did enjoy the note from Zhao at the beginning about hoping this story helps people realise their identity or at least start to understand what it means, it is so often misunderstood and dismissed. It helps not having a non-fiction book or essays to gain understanding when you can see it play out in a storyline.
If anybody thinks there’s too much discussion about identity in this book and think people wouldn’t have these conversations obviously haven’t met the right people. Besides there are thousands of books discussing feelings and flutterings in stomachs and crushes that go on for entire books. Why can’t there be a few that talk about how it can be exhausting having none? Especially against a society that expects it. I loved how Zhao puts forward their own version of the Feelings Book by giving us one where the point is not having any.
I liked that the advice columns keep going, I like that there is no major incidents, I like that despite being in their heads and falling prey to overthinking there are real reactions and solutions. It’s a pain to keep saying it, but it is refreshing when people are sensible about things and storylines don’t go over the top for the drama in unrealistic ways. Why can’t we have two friends fighting who need to work it out? There is still a will/they won’t they element, especially since there is precedent for no they won’t already with a character. I’d rather have two friends look at whether they can forgive one another than have something be a drama that has no weight, sexuality expression aside.
400 pages/10 hours and 70+ chapters makes it feel like the book is slow and dragged out, and sometimes it does, but it is a medium paced story, a lot of little things happen and it fills a range of side elements like exploring characters, plus the culture and community at the school. The complexity of the book world and having each character have their own friends and family around them meant there was a lot to explore and Zhao gives everything the right pace and attention.
This is a great book that gives attention to a little know part of the diversity alphabet and hopefully it’s one people can fall in love with. If not for the refreshing identity exploration, than an amazing rivals plot and finding new intense friendships.
You can purchase Dear Wendy via the following
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