Eclipse (#3) by Stephanie Meyer

Published: 7th August 2007 (print)/4th May 2009 (audio) Goodreads badge
Publisher:
Little, Brown and Company/Bolinda Publishing
Pages: 629/16 hrs and 25 mins
Narrator: Ilyana Kadushin
Format: Audiobook
Genre: Young Adult
★   ★  – 2 Stars

This book should not have been 16 hours long. This story didn’t need 629 pages.

I wanted to claw my eyes out for 95% of this book and for the other 5% I’m furious because there’s actually good story hidden amongst this which we could have had. There is a unique and interesting narrative buried in here but you would never know, you have to break through the hours and hours of nothing before you come across decent parts of the story and by then you’re so apathetic and drained emotionally that these little moments only offer short lived joy.

Because I refuse to entirely dump on this series I will highlight the positives. There is decent foreshadowing that I recognise for events in the next book, but of the very limited details I know it isn’t a deterrent. I can see Meyer trying to build up suspense and history without doing it in an obvious way.

This is the story where we get a lot more backstory about the vampire and werewolf legends. There are long stories about origins and histories, about past events and fights. It’s not uninteresting, but it’s a lot. There’s the usual Bella/Jacob/Edward fiasco, eventually after half the book of the bickering we’ve seen before there is a truce of some kind. I swear the name Bella is said more times than any other word in this book, and doing this as an audio reminded me constantly of The Magic School Bus episode when Wanda lost her bullfrog and 90% of the episode was here yelling Bella all over the place. That was this. Just Bella repeated over and over by Jacob, by Edward and by Jacob again.

Even though I’ve only read three so far, I’ve worked out you could break the Twilight books down in three main sections: Bella having conversations with Edward/Jacob about not dissing the other, Bella doing housework because Charlie is apparently an invalid who can only watch TV or work, heavens knows how he survived without her before now it’s nothing short of a miracle, and the third part is the long talks about either the vampire/werewolf way of life. Sprinkled in there you have school stuff, Bella yearning to be immortal after having her first love that totally will last forever, and let’s not forget the mortal danger she is always in but that never takes up nearly enough time.

The best thing Bella ever does in this entire 600 page endurance is she punches Jacob for kissing her when she doesn’t want it. For those few moments Bella was a great character, and Charlie becomes grosser by congratulating Jacob for kissing her and not taking her side when she explains why she punched him. For a brief moment Bella was a strong character who fought against things she didn’t like, but soon she was reduced once more to her whining self that is veiled thinly into presenting as her being strong and getting her way.

The fight scene that this whole book (and the previous) has probably, poorly been leading up to was actually quite good. It didn’t quite make up for the previous 14 hours but it was interesting, well presented, vivid and full of emotion. Where this writing was when the rest of the book was happening I do not know. This is part of the 5%. These small gems of writing makes me so sad this series isn’t presented better. It could have been a new, unique retelling of the vampire/werewolf myth and seeing what Meyer is actually capable of in some scenes makes me mourn for the other utter nonsense we have to endure.

Kadushin again narrates us and I’m used to her tone and manner in reading these characters. There isn’t a huge range in her voices but you pick it up after a while. As I go into the final book I hope I will be able to sum this story up into a short summary because once you break through the angst and the yearning to the plot underneath it might sound like a decent read.

You can purchase Eclipse via the following

QBD | Booktopia | Book Depository

Dymocks | WorderyAngus and Robinson

 Fishpond | Amazon | Amazon Aust | Audible

New Moon (#2) by Stephanie Meyer

Published: 6th September 2006 (print)/1st June 2010 (audio) Goodreads badge
Publisher:
Little, Brown and Company/Random House
Pages: 563/14 hrs and 51 mins
Narrator: Ilyana Kadushin
Format: Audiobook
Genre: Young Adult/Paranormal
★   ★  – 2 Stars

I knew we were both in mortal danger. Still, in that instant, I felt well. Whole. I could feel my heart racing in my chest, the blood pulsing hot and fast through my veins again. My lungs filled deep with the sweet scent that came off his skin. It was like there had never been any hole in my chest. I was perfect – not healed, but as if there had never been a wound in the first place.

For Bella Swan, there is one thing more important than life itself: Edward Cullen. But being in love with a vampire is even more dangerous than Bella could ever have imagined. Edward has already rescued Bella from the clutches of one evil vampire, but now, as their daring relationship threatens all that is near and dear to them, they realize their troubles may be just beginning… 

First things first, this book could have told the exact same story in 1/3 of the time. Second of all, nothing happens in this book. 14 hours of my life! 563 pages of book for barely no plot whatsoever. The only good parts were when Bella was with Jacob. For the entirety of this novel I was Team Jacob because he was the only normal, sensible person and it is the only normal part of the book that didn’t feel like it was going to implode because of all the angst and self-pity. Honesty I wanted to shake Bella/Meyer to gain some reason why Bella was so ready to jump into being an immortal. This is her first love and OF COURSE she wants to die for him and be with him forever. At least, and I can’t believe I am writing this, but Edward had some sense in this in his refusal and attempt to give Bella a normal life because she jumped right in and even for a guy as old as Edward that would have scared anybody off.

Bella moping around like a sad puppy was infuriating only for the length. I would have welcomed it because it made sense if she was going to fall hard she was going to be heartbroken, but it did not need to take up the first 9 hours of my listening experience on this alone, especially when a lot of it was repeating the same thing over and over again.

In other news, the Cullens in this book felt a bit more eternal than they had previously when they were trying to be the normal family. They behaved a bit more like the ancient eternal beings with the distant care and preoccupation with the human matters. I felt in a few conversations that petty human issues were of no concern to them which was good, it took away their phony pretense of being normal. I know they have adopted Bella as one of the family in their weird way but it felt like a tolerance. She pushed a lot of boundaries and I’m surprised they didn’t seem to mind how pushy and demanding she was.

Again, not a great narrator helping Meyer’s case. Kadushin’s approach this time was to take a pause after she spoke. After. Every. Single. Sentence. A full on pause whether it was the end of a paragraph or not. Every line. It did not matter if I had it running at 1.5x speed. I felt those pauses in my soul and wanted to scream.

Overall I felt nothing happened in this book. It was a few small issues dragged out way longer than it needed to be. I liked we got more of Jacob’s story and his relationship with Bella. I never knew he was meant to only be sixteen but I liked his side of the story and what happens between him and Bella. Meyer misses a few key point in regards to his own story that I had questions about but I was in a forgiving mood because after all the drama and emotion I was happy the story was feeling normal once again, at least for a while.

You can purchase New Moon via the following

QBD | Booktopia | Book Depository

Dymocks | WorderyAngus and Robinson

 Fishpond | Amazon | Amazon Aust | Audible

Twilight (#1) by Stephanie Meyer

Published: 5th October 2005 (print)/14th May 2010 (audio) Goodreads badge
Publisher:
Little, Brown and Company/Bolinda Audio
Pages: 501/14 hrs and 51 mins
Narrator: Ilyana Kadushin
Format: Audiobook
Genre: Young Adult Paranormal
★   ★  ★  – 3 Stars

About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Edward was a vampire.

Second, there was a part of him—and I didn’t know how dominant that part might be—that thirsted for my blood.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

It took me fourteen years but I have finally read Twilight and honestly…it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. I can now agree that the movie made this into a much creepier story than it first appears. The first half actually reads like a normal YA novel, there’s a normal sounding girl in a normal kind of situation who falls for the pale, strange boy at her school…who turns out to be a vampire. I have no idea what the movie did to it but they made it much weirder and creepier than the vibe I got from this book. I’m not saying it is perfect, but it was a decent story.

As a character Bella is a bit strange but isn’t that the point? A different girl whose mind can’t be read by the vampires around her. Admittedly she is blasé about a few things which is strange, especially when you think she should have some kind of reaction, but maybe she is just a strange person which is totally within her rights to be.

I have only read a few vampire stories and each one has taken on a completely different approach to the vampire mythology. I liked Meyer’s approach, it is a different take on the traditional expectations which at the time was new. It may not be the blood sucking legends people expect but that is her whole point. This is “real life” and not the centuries of myth that has accumulated.

Edward is certainly odd. He has a curiosity about him in regards to Bella, but he also has a few moments of patronising and dare I say grooming. Despite being seventeen in appearance, he is clearly older mentally and you can see this in his actions. It is extremely creepy and having seen the debate over the years I honestly am no more enlightened why Edward is continuing to be 17 when he can lie and say he is 18 and go and live his life somewhere and not in high school.

Up until this point is was a decent enough introduction into this world, clearly the start of a bigger story Meyer has planned. The final third takes a sudden shift into the strange. Once Bella needs to be hidden it suddenly shifts to no other option than to flee. If they had an agreement with the other vampires why wouldn’t that stand? And of course there are hundreds of other people to feed on, why are they obsessed with this one? Is it only because she was friendly with them and it is deemed unnatural? This might be where Meyer was trying to make Bella into something special but that didn’t come across to me. It was too out of the blue. I don’t think I believed her reasoning for leaving town even despite the danger. I’m glad Meyer addresses this because it seemed to be a huge leap.

The narrator of the audiobook was ok, not great. The voices and tones Kadushin used for the characters didn’t work for them. It made Bella and Edward more soft spoken and breathy than they should have been and even if this was a paranormal and romantic story it doesn’t need to sound constantly dramatic and airy.

I can see the bigger story forming and I’m looking forward to see the few things I have picked up over the years finally in context. They are strange out of context and I have no doubt they will be strange in context as well.

You can purchase Twilight via the following

QBD | Booktopia | Book Depository

Dymocks | WorderyAngus and Robinson

 Fishpond | Amazon | Amazon Aust | Audible