Published: 1 April 2015
Publisher: Random House Australia
Pages: 319
Format: Paperback
Genre: Contemporary Young Adult
★ ★ ★ ★ ★ – 5 Stars
Declan seems to have it all: a family that loves him, friends he’s known for years, a beautiful girlfriend he would go to the ends of the earth for.
But there’s something in Declan’s past that just won’t go away, that pokes and scratches at his thoughts when he’s at his most vulnerable. Declan feels as if nothing will take away that pain that he has buried deep inside for so long. So he makes the only decision he thinks he has left: the decision to end it all.
Or does he? As the train approaches and Declan teeters at the edge of the platform, two versions of his life are revealed. In one, Declan watches as his body is destroyed and the lives of those who loved him unravel. In the other, Declan pauses before he jumps. And this makes all the difference.
One moment. One pause. One whole new life.
“Don’t abandon the miracle of your own existence because you don’t know how to ask for help.”
I keep being punished for not reading books when they first come out when I want to, only to realise how fantastic they are later when I eventually do. It’s happened four times now and I don’t seem to be learning my lesson.
First things first, this is a book that deals with suicide and a split timeline between following through and not. In a Sliding Doors meets The Lovely Bones style we see both lives of Declan: what happens if he jumps, what happens if he doesn’t. Not to be morbid, but there is an amazing first person perspective scene about jumping in front of a train. In the brief mention it manages to have a great balance between not being overly graphic and also being real about it. It shows the brain mechanics and impulses a person goes through, it shows the detail of what actually happens to your body, it includes the immediate regrets, not to mention the trauma of those who see it. It’s important to note that that part is brief. It’s a fleeting mention but it is well written and one I think is important to include.
There’s also great descriptions of teenage life and their thoughts and decisions. Larkin’s written a great teenage voice and the tunnel vision teenagers have about what is important and earth shattering in their life comes across. It’s great insight which helps you understand their actions and motivations; how they are hormone driven, and how they’re experiencing everything the first time: from friend issues, to family issues, to first love. Larkin comes in strong early on with the big emotions and it hooks you right in without glorifying or making it grotesque.
The best part is Declan isn’t special. He has mates who are typical teenage boys. Annoying sister, parent issues, and family dynamics. It appears to come from nowhere which is why it’s so great. It was a shock. It is unexpected. It’s great to show how something like this can happen to the most normal looking kid ever. The voice is believable and the relationships Declan has with his family is believable, even the different dynamics he has with each member of his family. You do behave differently around different people and his favourite parent is clear while unintentional.
The sliding doors moment and duel existence is perfect and you become captivated by this life now lived and the reminders it couldn’t have happened at all. There is Larkin’s voice on high with reminders that things will get better and setbacks aren’t the end of the world even if that thing was what was getting you through.
You’re also drawn along by What Happened to Aunt Mary? The mystery is woven throughout and as Larkin drip feeds us information before dumping the entire bucket on us all I can say it was amazing, especially given the emotional ride we’ve gone through with Declan so far.
There are so many things I would love to talk about and how wonderful and mind blowing they are but alas, spoilers. Even the smallest possibly vaguest things I don’t want to risk and ruin the revelations and joys I had reading this book.
When I finished this I basically went and gushed about it for ten minutes. It was amazing. I loved every part of it. It is sad and profound, it has so many lessons about life and humanity and hope. It is incredible how Larkin managed to weave in these important things that need to be hammered into every single person who ever thinks they are the alone or are the only one who feels a certain way. It’s natural but you can tell where The Lesson is but I don’t care. It also comes across through the voice of a boy who has been told this in a professional setting and is remembering it. He is using these lessons to live his life. The life he almost didn’t have.
Again, I kick myself for not picking this book up when I wanted to in 2016. I saw it for months on the shelf and I was drawn to it. But I never dove in. I’m glad I finally did because I loved it. It is only fictional but it’s also the story of so many people, not just teenagers. It’s obviously not perfect, it still has a few slightly non PC approaches to things but that’s really not important. The content is important. It’s about life getting better. About not giving into the impulses. How mental illness sneaks up on you and it’s ok to get help. Which for a 2015 book feels amazing.
Honestly it is a brutal book. It deals with big issues, it describes big issues with quite a lot of detail, and the consequences of both sides smack you in the face with the truth and reality. And that is why it is phenomenal. It never strays from being a YA voice, which is more important because it knows its audience. Larkin knows who is reading this, knows the message needs to get out that your teenage years are not forever. But also lets kids know that people of all ages go through things. You are not alone. I am trying hard not to write an entire essay about this book (and failing I know), but I cannot stress enough how amazing it is. If you can handle the brutality of it all – not only the few descriptions, but the emotional brutality, and the reality of life – please read it.
You can purchase The Pause via the following
Fishpond | Amazon | Amazon Aust
A few days ago as I went to write my book bingo wrap up I realised, despite announcing it to the world in January, I never actually ended up making it. Which is a shame because it is one of my favourite challenges, not only to do but to create. Who knows what happened to distract me. But now we are here, and I made one quickly a few days ago to keep my goals alive.
